“Crying Spell”

“Everybody is crying. Everybody can get sad.”

-Tomer Peretz

This journal entry is inspired by true events. Some of the characters, names, businesses, incidents, and certain locations and events have been fictionalized for dramatic purposes. Any similarity to the name, character or history of any person is entirely coincidental and unintentional. 

Another heart wrenching crying spell. It started when the Jehovah witness girls came knocking your door.

You lie.

It started when you woke up. The dream you had was of your ex-husband telling his groomsman that he didn’t want to be married while walking down the aisle—he was in blue. So you reacted by jumping into the pool of Miami water in your beautiful silk sky blue wedding dress and you were swimming away from him. Of course, he didn’t want to marry you. Let me trouble you no further. You tell yourself. If dreams had a sequel or an after story it would be your ex-husband blaming you that the wedding never happened.

Of course.

“I was just joking. I never thought you would actually pull out like that?!” the dream ex-husband said to me.

“Yeah, you made it pretty clear that you didn’t want to get married, so I left,” you said.

You had one of those dreams where the dreams had sequels. You were at the apartment with Jay-Z and Beyonce. They both invited you to stay with them with their daughter, Blue Ivy. Beyonce was quiet most of the time. She went to go swimming or shopping. She was away. Jay-Z started pulling the moves on you. He wanted you to sleep with him. Because he was a married man, you refused on principle. Also because you were suspicious that somehow this was a setup.

You woke up realizing that it was the devil’s invitation. C’mon, you’re hot enough for a rap star to want to fuck you. 

You woke up delirious. 

You woke up crying.

The rest of the day, you were depressed and crying.

Jesus, please help me.