by Code Stuff
The lyrics of Crywolf’s “Stay” took me back to that place when I had Marlen in my arms. Feeling her breath on my chest as I gently stroke her hair. Her hands, her touch, her presence just put me in bliss. So as I am listening to Crywolf vocals I find my head bopping up and down feeling his words as they painted my emotional disappointment in her not just “Staying” a little longer that day
The song brought me back a few years when I met this young lady at a Halloween party a few years back. Such a beautiful young lady that I actually really showed interest in me. It is not that often that I come across a woman in which I find attractive express her interest in me as strongly as this beautiful senorita did. After a few hours of hanging out at the party (which was on the boat), she ended up in my arms as I looked over at the moonlight shining on top of the ocean. Yea, it was a romantic night. As the night started coming to an end the friends she came with ordered a cab to go to another party. I found out that Marlen actually left her keys in her car. So at 2 am in the morning she called a locksmith to come unlock her car door. I chilled with her in my car as we continued to gaze into each other’s eyes and learn about one another. So after an hour later, the locksmith finally showed up to do his duties. I found out that Marlen lived in North Hollywood and I didn’t think it was a good idea to drive from Long Beach after having a few drinks as well as the constant yawning. I offered her to crash on my couch and head out first thing in the morning. So she took me up on my offer. Even though I offered her my couch she decided to snuggle with me instead.
It did not take her long to climax and fall asleep in my arms. Afterwards, she snored and slobbered all over my chest. Even though I didn’t sleep that well that evening I didn’t mind her slobbering and snoring at all as she draped her body all over me.
After she left in the morning, I actually was feeling pretty good. I thought I had my first potential girlfriend after my breakup of a 5 year on and off the relationship. Marlen happened to leave a garment over my place so after I got some sleep, hit the gym and got some food, later on, that afternoon I gave her a call. When she answered she was surprised that I called her. Since we were intimate within hours of the meeting she thought I would label her as a “whore” or just a “piece of booty”. I immediately, let her know my mind doesn’t work like that all. We are human and when you are feeling someone I am calling you to continue feeling you some more. Not only physically but emotionally as well. She sounded so relieved when I said those words to her. So I set up another date for us to go on so I can see her again.
The second date is dope. I took her to dinner. We saw a movie. Then I took her on a 2 person boat ride in the Naples water channels. When we went for a walk on the beach we were holding hands. A perfect date in my view. As we vibed and chilled comfortably in each other’s presence she constantly had a smile on her face so I know I was doing my job as a man. So we get back to my place and immediately strip once we get inside and hop in the shower together. Hmmm, yea even writing this journal I still recall those sweet wet lips as her body is pressed up against mine. All of a sudden hops out of the shower with me and grabs a towel without saying anything. She quickly dries off and wraps the towel around her body and walks into my bedroom before I can turn off the water. I exit the shower, grab my towel and as I am drying off my body I proceed into the bedroom. I find her sitting on my bed staring at the floor. I walk over to her and ask, “are you okay, what’s on your mind?” Continuing staring at the floor she says, “What am I doing?”. She stands up drops the towel and immediately goes into her bag and puts on her underwear. Then the rest of her clothes to start to follow. With the deer in headlights look, I ask, “What didn’t or what did I do, please stay. I really like you.”
I got the infamous statement in which I heard so many times. “It isn’t you, it is me, I am sorry”. Her car was parked in my garage so I had to put my clothes on in order to walk her to her car in the garage.
She gave me hug, said she was sorry and she was gone.
Even till this day, every time “Stay” comes on in my car I always think of her. I always wonder why she just walked away from the way she did when she seemed to be so comfortable with me moments before.
When Crywolf performs he puts his emotions into his music. I have to give him credit for that. He reminds me of my cousin who also is a musician. You can see the emotion in his performance in which I try to capture in photography. As I age, I find myself being more in tune with my emotions and I admire artists like Crywolf and my cousin that are able to express those emotions via music at such a young age (I am almost 40). When I was Crywolf’s age I had no clue how to express my emotions through art or music. Now that I am older and in tune with my emotions, I really enjoy capturing the emotional spirit of the human experience through photography. This is now my art. I love capturing beautiful things. Plus, photography gives me something else to do besides writing code all day!!